Americas Number 1 sport, like for real though?

Ok I'm sorry to do this to you America but you need a good bitch slap, WHAT THE HELL IS SO DAMN INTERESTING ABOUT NASCAR!!!!!

You know who runs around in circles, retards. yet every Sunday millions of people cram around the picture box for i don't know how many hours to watch 20 some guys drive around in a circle for 500 miles.  you might say "i watch it for the crashes" and i will say "GO TO YOU TUBE STUPID! there are literally thousands of videos of car crashes"

And give me one driver that has a good, solid mustache, not a shit lip or a hair lip but a good full mustache, or beard, or a Fu Manchu.  None of the drivers in NASCAR are cool, at all........ever. (Richard Petty being the exception)

And if NASCAR is a motor sport then why the hell would you limit the top speed in which you can go?it isn't safe??? hell Indy goes 50 mph faster and they still walk away from their crashes.  Maybe you need some more talented drivers in NASCAR or maybe better safety regulations, not speed control, you effing babies.

Man up NASCAR! don't be a girl

on another note, the top five acceptable motor sports for solid dudes:

5.  Pro Go Karts, these fuckers go 70 mph IN A GO KART!!!! SHITS CRAZY!!!!

4.  Lawn Mower Racing, same effect as the go karts, BUT on a lawn mower, these are men of ingenuity

3. Trophy Trucks.  you try being in a hot ass truck, in the desert, going 60 mph over random terrain DAMN

2. F1, the fastest of the real motor sports(drag racing doesn't count, you go in a straight line, pussys)

1. Rally, 70mph, off road, snow or gravel or dirt ice or tarmac, it all happens, oh yea and you are in a sedan

Auto Parts Etiquette

Believe it or not, if you don't know what you are doing when you go into an auto parts store you are an idiot.  Thats not saying you need to know about automotive repair, but you should know certain information about your vehicle to make things go faster and so you look less stupid and here are a few of those things:

1. Know your year, make, and Model. if you don't know what you are driving, you can't be helped.  and it has happened before. It's like a guy going to the doctor and saying "yes doctor i think there is something wrong with my vagina." yea cuz that makes any sense.

2. Know what engine you have. if you need brakes, most of the time you don't need to know this, but there are a few instances where you do.  a co worker was approached by a customer and heard this "yea i need an engine sensor '93 Pontiac Grand AM," my co worker replied "which sensor do you need, there are quite a few."  He then heard " I dunno" to which he replied "what engine do you have in your Pontiac," stupid face said "IUNNO"
there is no help for you at this point

3. Know what part you need. if you come up and say "I need the thing that goes from my strut this really long bar" we pretty much do know what you are talking about, but not always, especially if you sound like you are talking with shit in your mouth.

What it really boils down to is if you know these few basic things, you will be helped just fine.

There will be more rules to come

Manly Bowl 45

Well another Super Bowl has come and gone. Two teams met and one came out the victor. One player of which is from Kalamazoo, so a big pat on the back to you Greg Jennings.

I don't follow pro football that much i feel like the players have little heart left and all they are doing is playing for the money, hence i watch college football (even tho the BCS is a devil spawn).

So I didn't care who won the Super Bowl UNTIL!!! I saw a god among men, a diamond in the rough, a how do you say MAN OF TOTAL BAD ASSNESS!!!!! i am of course talking about Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end Brett THE DIESEL Keisel, this man:

Now THAT is what you call a beard, that beard alone could have beaten the Packers.  That beard alone could cure world hunger and that beard alone my friends, can solve the economic crisis. i heard it killed a bear, i heard it has it's own twitter, whatever it did, be afraid, or embrace it, your call, but don't say i didn't warn you!

Seriously?!?

you are from Michigan or anywhere in the Midwest, this is just flurries.  Man up, quit bitching, and dont drive like an asshole, your four wheel drive won't always save your life.

And you wouldnt be so cold if you grew  some hair on your baby face, Nancy